This text was written during the first wave of pandemic of COVID-19 in the Spring of 2020

After almost 4 years of being a resident and developing my practice in the province of Quebec, a part of me is still getting accustomed to the new place. Today, in the situation of quarantine, I would focus attention on the type of the circumstances we all are living in, and our response to the challenges that it brings. It is right for those who arrived recently as well as for those who were born and grew up here.

…We use the term Dignity to describe a person’s inner sensation and feeling that she is able to own her inner values and deep ethics, respecting them and living according to them. Dignity also involves authentic acceptance of certain commitments, actions and rights. … Dignity implies that a person is authentic. Dignity usually drives a person toward self-development. Dignity provides the urge for self-acknowledgement and self-development, which arise in our relationships and interactions with others. 

Lisbeth Marcher and Sonia Fich.
Body Encyclopedia. A Guide to the Psychological Functions of the Muscular System
North Atlantic Books, Berkeley, California, 2010

With dignity in mind I begin to look at what’s happening in a different way. Considering the concepts of self-respect and respect of individual values ​​by other people, instead of the mathematics of risk management.

Saving lives of ones, is it possible to deprive the dignity of others? In an emergency the ventilators are passed to the young. What happens to the dignity of the elder person whose ventilator is taken away? And what happens to the dignity of the young?

Questions that affect the fate of many are answered by the people for whom the dignity is what? Success during the next election cycle? Ability to move on to the next position? Specialists, for whom the right choice is equal to the scientifically proven response in its effect on “the population”?

Another question arises. Supply chains begin in poor countries where production is cheaper. Clothing and shoes are hand-sewn where the local labor cost makes it reasonable. Hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people are employed in such industries. They are far less protected than buyers of what they produce. In order to save lives of inhabitants of the advanced countries, their governments halt economic activity. Frozen supply chains doom low-income workers to hunger and poverty. Saving lives of the elderly in the countries of the first world – yes. But is it ok to put those who could feed their families making what’s consumed in other countries, on the brink of survival? Trauma is associated with loss of dignity.

Modern society offers lots of moral conflicts. The decision makers are responsible for their actions, whether those are right or wrong. Still it seems to me that the “internal compass” that exists in us is important. There is still something we can do.

Please remember about the dignity of others. In an unusual situation like the current one, many experience symptoms of stress, lose their temper and fall into a variety of extremes. An incident happened in the province where I live. The supermarket guard would not let the customer in with his companion. I don’t know exactly why, according to the rules of quarantine, he could not let two people enter together. The customer waited till the end of the shift and rammed the guard with his car.

Was the guard rude to the customer? Was the customer a crazy psychopath (as the prime minister of the province labelled him immediately)? I do not know. What seems important here: against the background of considerable uncertainty, external requirements are applied into a sphere that has never been previously regulated from the outside. The area related to the grounds of human coexistence: security (it is safer together), personal attachment, defence of self-esteem. Scenarios that would unlikely emerge in other circumstances are activated.

There is much in this unusual situation that depends on us personally. Recently, a cashier in a nearby store asked a woman standing behind me to move back, in respect to the new social distancing rules. She began to apologize. What can I do as a helping practitioner? I can only offer her to stand as close to me, as she would like to. Although this is contrary to the public agenda, the woman will probably go home a little calmer.

During this period of uncertainty there are many points of view on what’s right and what isn’t. It seems important to me to notice: even if you do know precisely what is right, and your interlocutor says something completely against your point of view, please try to refrain from destroying him with a confident, evidence-based response. Try to find a way to contain. Even in case you feel it’s “already too much.” Ah yes, now the “too much” is becoming more and more difficult to withstand. No need to be afraid to lose face. No need to articulate your position immediately on your facebook page. Instead, you can probably choose a little more relaxed attitude toward rash acts and hasty conclusions. With this you most likely are supporting the other person better, perhaps much better than when you are explaining to him (and others) how to see things in the right light.

We, the helping practitioners, will face a significant traumatic trail in those who pass through this period, no matter what conditions they may be in. Unfortunately, we can help maintain oneself, and withstand circumstances only in the moment, now. Most of those who express their not-too-thoughtful attitudes will not even think to seek help these days. Requests will appear after the crisis has ended.

What we as humans can do now is all about maintaining dignity. Maybe it’s important for us to protect our own boundaries (that’s important, indeed), maybe we know better how to do this or that. Most often, the person who breaks the boundaries of others is the one who has absolutely ran out of resources. What we can do is to leave ourselves an opportunity to answer in such a way as to give a little more space. Space that’s needed to process other people’s hastiness or misunderstanding. Now it seems more important than ever.

Denis Petrov, April 2020